Hahah!!!
Pilot: I hope the crossfire doesn't hit the Firebi-
KA-BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!
How about, make all walls and objects out of static actors with no AI.
PS - I was reading about crotch attacks on Wikipedia and according to an article, kicking a female in the crotch can be and is just as debilitating.