About the track, it sounds very promising. One thing I did get from it is that it doesn't appear to have a global melodic theme to it, if you can call it that (I'm not good with musical terminology so if I make stuff up just bear with it). There are three distinct sections to it, and they don't seem to fit with one another. The one starting at 0:52 seems to me as the one that is especially alienated from the other two.
On that same section, the electric guitar seems to be rather constrained in terms of the range of notes, same as in other tracks you did. Maybe you could experiment with using a wider range, if not for this track then maybe for others. For reference, listen to "Brainsick Metal", a combined remix of three tracks from the Rockman X video game, available
here, particularly from 4:14.