It's been a long time since I did some real songwriting, a year in fact, because my current computer's sound card is terrible and It doesn't have the space for professional software (laptop). I have to admit I'm a little out of practice so don't take my comments too seriously but if your still looking for feedback:
This is a good start. Timing is nearly perfect, several interesting rhythm patterns, with the promise of development into a great song.
I couldn't hear any bass, which is a severe dent in the song. Even if it's a simple track playing the base notes of the rhythm's chords, It makes the song spread over more frequencies "rounding it off."
The gain sounds digital. If you haven't done so already, consider removing the effects on the computer and using a direct line-in from a large valve amp. My personal choice is a marshall JCM 900 because it really
sings when you turn the volume up, but any valve amp makes a better sound then digital equipment.
You have multiple tracks of rhythm guitar which is good, but consider using one to play a harmonizing riff instead of the same piece as the other tracks.
Right where this version ends is where I plan to add a different section with a solo, and then return back to the main part again, then an ending.
I can understand putting a limit on the lead guitar if there are vocals, but if you make an instrumental version forget a single section for the solo. The solo can be as long as the song, and is often the defining part that makes a great song fantastic. I'll upload some ideas when I boot up my old computer and figure out how best to upload...
I still haven't decided what the song will be about yet, though.
It really matters, not what others think, but what you think on this. It needs to be something that makes you put passion into the vocals. Most listeners don't hear the lyrics, they hear the notes, so a subject you really care about and inspires you to perform well is ideal.
Edit: I gather from that description under your picture that you're using a gibson, but which is it? An explorer?
Edit 2: My old computer won't boot, so I decided to do a little sample of an idea for the solo and demonstrate the hormonizing rhythm (which I just realized is impossible to hear...). Warning: Bad quality (previously mentioned computer), bad eq settings (free software) and bad rhythm guitar (I'm really tired!) but I'm just throwing ideas out there.
http://files.filefront.com/02+Rock+Otter+Samplemp3/;13331644;/fileinfo.html