General > Discussion
Some rant about ufopaedia texts
TrashMan:
Being a bit..anal..aren't we?
Descriptions give flavor. You complain the Storage description is too long? Bah.
If anything, the base model could use an update.
Vassilios de Veritas:
--- Quote ---Being a bit..anal..aren't we?
--- End quote ---
Oh boy, here we go. What's next, "U MAD BRO?"?
--- Quote ---Descriptions give flavor.
--- End quote ---
Nobody argued about that, i personally pointed out problems in one particular text.
--- Quote ---You complain the Storage description is too long?
--- End quote ---
No. I complain [link to my huge post, with no complains about size].
--- Quote ---But it does look ugly, any better ideas how the same info could be said in a different way?
--- End quote ---
--- Quote ---The Storage facility is the base's repository for ammunition, weapons, and other equipment not currently in use, and a garage for battlefield vehicles. These remain in their bays until mission time, with fully-loaded magazines in case of a base attack.
Objects are being stored on pallets, and the Storage facility can fit a maximum of 50 standard-sized pallets of equipment. The amount of items in a pallet is relatively unimportant, size is the main restricting factor with regards to Storage facility space. A dedicated production base may require two Storage facilities to keep production running smoothly. Please note Commander, that all equipment used by soldiers, and all items needed for research and production are also being stored in this facility.
Recommended Doctrine
During a base attack, the Storage facility would not be more than a target of opportunity. Any sensitive equipment in the facility will most likely be protected and require significant effort to destroy. Facility does not depend upon any other base facilities to function, and is cheap and easy to repair.
--- End quote ---
homunculus:
I see.
If I was a base commander, though, all e-mails sent to me would need to have the following format.
So that I would not need to read every word of the blob to find out just one little fact somewhere in the middle of it.
And that would mean NO fiction-writing artistic freedom for the sender of the e-mail.
--- Quote ---What?
Plastic cup
For whom?
Mom
Purpose
Storing scissors
Solves problem of
Scissors being lost
--- End quote ---
Vassilios de Veritas:
You lost me bro, i don't know what you want now. I pointed out problems in text, i rewrote that text without those problems, and text didn't end up like the one in your post. What "fiction-writing artistic freedom" do you need for a description of a warehouse? It's not even a Command center. And we (not me for sure) weren't talking about all emails, just building description.
homunculus:
i mean, your text was brief and concentrated, it covered most points, and all was nice and good, but i still had to read all of it very carefully to find out how, say, assigned soldier equipment is handled.
actually i had to read it twice.
i see the structure as a problem, as in the first post i wrote:
--- Quote ---I would expect item categories and associated security standards (id and name), and it better be formatted as a list or else Maj. LeClerc might be in trouble.
--- End quote ---
however, real encyclopedia texts also have the structure not so obviously visible, and i cannot say it is bad, but rather a matter of preference.
i hope that clarifies the difference.
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