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Some rant about ufopaedia texts

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homunculus:
Wanted to clarify a few things about some weapons and aircraft, and therefore read some mail, and noticed again that the texts are verbose and useful info is not very clearly accessible.

So I got a little wicked and tried out how many lines of text are needed to tell me that something is a storage facility.
Quite a few, it seems, though it might suit the ufo:ai style.

The heading looked like an official letter and that was fine, but in the body tiny details like this attracted a lot of attention (= a LOT):
"Live ammunition and other sensitive equipment such as alien artifacts are kept in locked containers in the quartermaster's office behind rigorous security; checking anything out of locked storage requires the presence of the base quartermaster and written authorisation from the Command Centre."
The security being rigorous or not rigorous depends on the context.
The security being rigorous is Marcel LeClerc's personal opinion.
Perhaps he is trying to tell me that in his opinion the security is too rigorous for PHALANX base storage and we should relax more instead, maybe even treat it as a junk yard?

Even if the storage facility text absolutely has to be that much verbose, in an official letter I would expect item categories and associated security standards (id and name), and it better be formatted as a list or else Maj. LeClerc might be in trouble.
Maybe it is specific to the place where I live (although I very much doubt that), but I do not think a base commander would be interested in Marcel's personal opinions, like a letter to mom (trying to convey the attitude of myself as a player reading it).
Even just without the "behind rigorous security" part:
"Live ammunition and other sensitive equipment such as alien artifacts are kept in locked containers in the quartermaster's office; checking anything out of locked storage requires the presence of the base quartermaster and written authorisation from the Command Centre."
This is, of course, just one example of such detail in this text which looks like it is supposed to be an official letter, and this text is just one example of of the ufopaedia texts that are written with similar attitude.

On the other hand, it might clarify that dead aliens are not stored in the storage facility (as opposed to many ufo games).
It does say "ammunition, weapons, and other equipment", but there is motivation to store a dead alien in the storage and I doubt that, say, in court, a fridge or a dry ice box that accidentally contains a dead alien would not qualify as "other equipment".
That is probably not necessary from the "official letter about storage facility" point of view, but is "relevant information for the player".
If the text was a clear list of item categories without this "other equipment", the explicit clarification about alien stiffs would not be needed (terminology like "personal combat equipment" comes to mind).

By the way, I am not saying that the storage facility text should be rewritten or anything the like.
What I am saying is that there are such kind of issues with the texts.

Jon_dArc:

--- Quote from: homunculus on December 14, 2011, 05:37:29 am ---Wanted to clarify a few things about some weapons and aircraft, and therefore read some mail, and noticed again that the texts are verbose and useful info is not very clearly accessible.

So I got a little wicked and tried out how many lines of text are needed to tell me that something is a storage facility.
--- End quote ---
While I agree that the UFOPaedia texts have serious style and content issues, this isn't a particularly good example—it takes all of one line of text to tell us that it's a storage facility (less if you count the name). Admittedly that's preceded by a bit over a half-dozen lines of administrative debris, but that's all in the form of an email header that the eye quickly skips over—on my machine, the relevant information appears without scrolling (though if there's reason to believe that a meaningful portion of the playerbase uses a significantly lower resolution that might be an issue). Nearly everything else is just flavourtext.


--- Quote ---"Live ammunition and other sensitive equipment such as alien artifacts are kept in locked containers in the quartermaster's office behind rigorous security; checking anything out of locked storage requires the presence of the base quartermaster and written authorisation from the Command Centre."
The security being rigorous or not rigorous depends on the context.
The security being rigorous is Marcel LeClerc's personal opinion.
Perhaps he is trying to tell me that in his opinion the security is too rigorous for PHALANX base storage and we should relax more instead, maybe even treat it as a junk yard?
--- End quote ---
It is dependent on the context, but the context is assumed—it's Marcel LeClerc's opinion in his capacity as Base Commander of Pacific Operations Command.

More problematic from my view is that the UFOPaedia description is at odds with the base tile as shown overhead and in base attack maps (security? Where?), or the fact that only certain kinds of people take up living quarters (where did this quartermaster appear from?), but this is pretty nitpicky.


--- Quote ---Even if the storage facility text absolutely has to be that much verbose
--- End quote ---
I think what you're digging towards is a deeper issue about how the UFOpaedia descriptions serve two orthogonal roles—they provide (or ought to) important gameplay information on the one hand, which should be done concisely and scannably, and on the other they serve as flavourtext for atmosphere-building and player entertainment.


--- Quote ---in an official letter I would expect item categories and associated security standards (id and name), and it better be formatted as a list or else Maj. LeClerc might be in trouble.
Maybe it is specific to the place where I live (although I very much doubt that), but I do not think a base commander would be interested in Marcel's personal opinions, like a letter to mom (trying to convey the attitude of myself as a player reading it).
Even just without the "behind rigorous security" part:
"Live ammunition and other sensitive equipment such as alien artifacts are kept in locked containers in the quartermaster's office; checking anything out of locked storage requires the presence of the base quartermaster and written authorisation from the Command Centre."
This is, of course, just one example of such detail in this text which looks like it is supposed to be an official letter, and this text is just one example of of the ufopaedia texts that are written with similar attitude.
--- End quote ---
I think here again the deeper issue is that all UFOpaedia articles are structured as direct reports from persons of significance in PHALANX; descriptions of routine installations, procedures, and equipment read strangely in that context (note especially the articles on, say, the Combat Knife or most other equipment available at the start of the game).

At least the storage facility article doesn't outright lie to the player, as the Small Hanger article does by claiming to be an entry point during base invasions.

~J

homunculus:
Suppose a player wants to find some info about a facility, or whatever other item.
Usually there is nowhere else to go for the info except ufopaedia.
What the player finds there, however, is pages and pages (about half a page for each item) of flavor text that is supposed to drive the players imagination (original x-com did the same, but the texts were way shorter).
So, the player gets a wicked attitude about it and nitpicks on a word here and there.
And, just for this very simple reason, a player like myself is not on the same side as the writer of those texts, and rather than accomplishing the flavor purpose it accomplishes some rolleyes emotes instead.

Vassilios de Veritas:
Oh people, don't remind me about Storage Facility description text. Some time ago i was actively translating msg_ids to Ukrainian, but that description... that description had broken my mind, bros. It's a storage facility. A warehouse. You keep things there. How many words do you need to describe a warehouse, to show that it is, in fact, a warehouse and not a space station? I don't know, maybe it was fatigue from translating the whole Story and Buildings sections, but every time i was trying to translate Storage Facility article, i couldn't find words to stretch sentence "this is a warehouse, you keep things there" through three paragraphs + Addendum ("it's bad when aliens are in your warehouse, duh").

homunculus:

--- Quote from: Vassilios de Veritas on December 20, 2011, 07:23:36 pm ---It's a storage facility. A warehouse. You keep things there.
--- End quote ---
I sympathize with you, tried some translating also, a few years ago.

I hope reading a real world Arms Room SOP (standard operating procedure) will make the storage facility translation feel like a breeze :)
A far as my personal opinion goes, this text (or better, a stricter one of the same type) could be customized in full extent to ufo:ai for the storage facility, if such keyboard-happy writer can be found (because, as said, the storage facility text was read out of wickedness).
Or it could mock some lengthy license agreement, GPL maybe (well, GPL is not that long, but would be close to educative at least).
Or it could say that the holy scrolls with the warehouse standards were lost, and until they are found the base commander can feel free to read GPL.

However, the translatable part of it might clarify some things:
1) aircraft equipment storage.
2) alien artifacts storage.
3) alien stiffs storage (especially as it contradicts other ufo games).
4) equipment in use by soldiers (I have accidentally sold equips worn by soldiers and discovered my soldier without a gun or ammo at the battlefield. But afaik player cannot sell, say, installed aircraft weapons, dunno about aircraft ammunition loaded in those).
5) in the future, probably also UGV storage.
6) items being researched in the lab (again, this has happened in game, sold alien medium armor; afair, the research screen looked strange before I started the time).
7) the meaning of storage capacity in practical playing, so that the player would understand how much he can really store, and if he would need to build a second one.
8 ) I doubt anyone would try to store an aircraft or a small UFO (or parts of a broken one) in storage facility, but who knows...

What comes to mind first, I would really suggest to try improving texts about
1) flasbang.
2) smoke grenade.
3) effect of weapon spread and soldiers weapon skill on bullet hole distribution in the target, maybe even include some sample images of shot targets as documentation (havn't read it, which means I would have needed to dig for it, and it is very likely that it is bit vague (me pessimistic about it)).

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